Pero todo esto no era nada para mí, era para «cualquiera», para normales...

Just came back from a trip to Turin to finish the Italian-trip weekends. It was a crazy day all together and we finished it with making a strawberry-milkshake for about 10 people (we're in two) ...
So I just have to mention that I met Berlusconi today ;) Imagine how shocked I was getting to the place we wanted to meet Anna and Giuseppe and hearing that guy instead. It was funny as!! He was talking and talking and talking and of course we went to have a look... was easy getting to see him as there was hardly any people...I mean it's Berlusconi in the end... Only empty words anyway and I guess the Italians know that too well now... Sabrina wanted to get me on a picture with him but it didn't quite work...she found it rather amusing to see him and she told Lily and Karthik how much I dislike him ;)
I did like though the girl that kept on screaming and the young people with the poster, was hard finding any anti-people !!
Then ate some Falafel at the Po, barefoot and with the most wonderful bike :) Had an Icecream of course, visited the King (but he wasn't home and so we didn't get in ;) ) and then went to learn some stuff about Egypt.
Italian streets are pretty crazy! I mean we got lost all the time, because there's no way you could possible see the streetsigns until it's too late anyway. I would never wanna drive there!! Most enjoyed though, the streetlights with all three colours at the same time! It's clear to me why nobody cares if it's red or not...
Another wonderful experience was being stuck in between Switzerland and Italy for about 15 min...and being screamed at by all kind of policemen... (but I ran around a bit, jumped and had fun anyway...) Those guys have no clue, really! But one of them was nice and ask me: "So how do you possibly pronounce that guys lastname?" Indian name's are just two long, I wouldn't wanna give it a try ;)
So our Italian, Indian, Chinese, German and Swiss team had a lot of fun today...and I'm interely tired, but unfortunately will have problems sleeping because I drank two cokes on the way back ;)

come va il mondo?
I don't know...At the moment I'd often love to shut up forever, just be and keep to myself... there's not much that actually makes sense being said. Trying to cure myself with distance to the things that hurt doesn't help in the end...I don't know, it's just wanting to scream and feel and be alive. But then I suddenly get the feeling that I wake up, after a too long time of sleep, and I see the world, I feel the world, nearly too much. And I can smile again because of little things, colours and things people usually walk by without notizing at least for a short while.
Yesterday night we said goodbye to Gabriele, after having done the same with the Annas it's enough I feel, I don't want the castle of people who're surrounding me fall apart even more. But the evening was very nice. Aperitivi, Pasta and Toblerone-Mousse with a couple of beers and 11 people! Then we went to the concert of "Le Braghe corte" and I liked it very much! Just dance. Although there was hardly anybody doing it, I felt as if this place would've been very sad without us. Poor Bologna-guys... Mitico il salto di Gabriele...troppo divertente! Now theweekend coming up, which means the last of a lot of trips to Italy...we gonna visit l'Anna bionda in Torino. I'm gonna bring my bubbles ;)
What's a life without accomplishing anything? What's a day without doing anything? What are swallowed feelings? ...

What about a little bit of music :)

Cannot longer say only Colombian songs are sad...

summer is on his way I can feel it...shirt and shorts, barefoot, lake, windsurf, smiles, sun, icecream, holidays, work, Uri....well I can't wait for it to come...at the same time I'm pretty sure this is going to be an awesome semester! I like my classes, sociology is awesome and all the rest interesting too... and the summer brings my will to learn and be and smile back :)
I got some projects and they make me kinda happy. That's how it should be I guess. Even though I'm stressed already...but well.
It's Sabrina's birthday today...so we're going to Como to eat at the Japanese... I'm more in Italy than home at the moment, and that's a matter of fact!
Weekend at the lake Garda and in Venice...was pretty awesome even though the weather was crappy. It started off at the border where he asked: "Nationalità?" "Italian, Swiss, Chinese and German"...."Hoppla...go on" So we did ;) In Venice we waited ages for a boat to arrive but it didn't...so we had to run back to the station...I enjoyed myself a lot while doing, the tourist around us a bit less, and Lily didn't quite have the right shoes ;)
Finally I got my exams results...but it's just not that funny doing well when there's others who dont'...espiacally as it doesn't quite matter as much for me as for them...
Already quite involved with university..several group works...and other stuff to do...first working-night's coming up on the horizon. But there's one about xenofobia and I'm looking forward to it...the other one's about terrorism, which sounds interesting too.

Ach...wenn jetzt sommer wär...aber es geht nicht mehr lang.

...si trova in corridorio adesso...ed io sul letto nella camera vuota, che era la mia per un po'... Mi sento vuota anch'io...cosa sarà la vita al di là del parete? Non cambia proprio niente...lo so. La Julia, come sarà come coinquilina? Come sarà il nuovo semestre? ...Be'....direi quando si è tristi e perduti si può fare solo una cosa...andare sul balcone a fare delle bolle di sapone...e così vado. Chiedelo al vento...

Yesterday was the wedding of my cousin...I enjoyed myself a lot being there...I knew quite a lot of people...most of all, the windsurf-community of course and then my family obviously. Imagine that now, immediately she seems quite a lot of older than me...non ho mai fatto il caso. Naja... Then I accompagnied the daughter of my older cousin to the preparation of her confirmation. (It's only by looking at the english word that I understand a lot more about it...that's why I support doing it at an older age than she has now...when it would really be her choice. For me it wasn't my choice...I mean what did I know...?!) Anyway..we talked about faith/reliance/trust...which is all one word in german ;) I like becoming part of her life, I really do...
Then there was the story of the guy who suddendly changed his name...he's Markus now...I mean Markus?! I don't get it. Some things must have obviously happend...I can't imagine what makes you change your whole life like that.. I mean, I'd be another person if I was called Melanie, right? I can't imagine to suddenly let the people call me Salome (even though more would be able to pronounce that..)
My new room's set btw...it's still strange to be here...I mean it still has to become my room...(I'm sure I gonna walk into Julias a couple of times..) There's much more room, I got a whole Sehnsucht-Wand and I'm sure it's gonna be a good time here...
Lif'e is btw...a shaggy dog story...but surprised are good at times I'm sure.

Quería tan sólo intentar vivir lo que tendía a brotar espontáneamente de mí. ¿Por qué había de serme tan difícil? --> for how long will every inch of this world remind me of you??

That's it for today... I'm still waiting for Julia to come and then it's time to get some sleep before I go back to USI tomorrow...
My Haarverlängerungs-Hair. It was incredibly long...now it's gone..right now I feel like cutting it right off..but well till I get to someone who could do it... Anyway...

uff...I'm sitting here in university because internet is not yet working at home... I woke up this morning with a guy talking loudly in our hallway...later I found out that he came to the door telling my roommate: "your bathroomlight's not working..." We didn't know until that point ;)
Yesterday I got saved from having to spend a night at the trainstation in Milano...lucky me....Incredibile thought, that Isabel needed a lift right the same evening. Was great stopping somewhere in front of the boarder and getting a beer out in the freezing cold :) (The huge danish beer wasn't the best choice...I was happy with my Fosters) So, thanks Fe!!!
I had been coming back from Bologna were I spent yet another strange time...it's has been a relief to finally being able to talk without pretending anything...so I'm thankful for that...but obviously I'm also confused and all and don't actually know much right now...
Now I'm gonna have to clean up my life a little bit, starting with my room which is just one huge mess.
Good news arrived today: Heather's going to University...And she's studying comunication...haha. I'm proud of you my little sister!

Speedy Pizza's no longer speedy Pizza!! that's pretty sad I'd say!! Today a wonderful day for going to the lake and relax, read and write! Thank you Anna for a wonderful idea! (I read a book talking about me!!)
Oh and of course...happy valentine's day to everyone...(I'm not serious obviously..)

sitting here in uri is pretty strange...it's pretty windy outside but totally silent here in the house...only me and my dad are there and he's already gone to bed. Yesterday I went to see a friend of mine or something like it, I hardly know her. But I got to meet her friends and they were wonderful. We had a good laugh, maded some plans for the future and I went to carneval ;) (horrible!) Zurich...it's not that interesting but well...it's nice to make your bed where you lay down your head...
Tomorrow I'm gonna meet an old friend and then go to Carneval in Uri to meet some more old friends...Since I've done the whole drinking story already on friday...I'm not totally ready for Carneval I feel...anyway...there's other bits and pieces to be done in the next couple of days...won't be boring I'd say....


today I was shopping with my dad...ok... I'm one of those famous "töchterli"...anyway, gotta go snowboarding again I'd say ;)

Meri said I should read that poem...freaking hell...it's just so great!!! Check it out...

In den Sand geschrieben
Dass das Schöne und Berückende
Nur ein Hauch und Schauer sein,
Dass das Köstliche, Entzückende,
Holde ohne Dauer sei:

Wolke, Blume, Seifenblase,
Feuerwerk und Kinderlachen,
Frauenblick im Spiegelglase
Und viel andre wunderbare Sachen,
Dass, sie , kaum entdeckt, vergehen,
Nur von Augenblickes Dauer,
Nur ein Duft und Windeswehen,
Ach, wir wissen es mit Trauer.

Und das Dauerhafte, Starre
ist uns nicht so innig teuer:
Edelstein mit kühlem Feuer
Glänzendschwere Goldesbarre,
Selbst die Sterne, nicht zu zählen,
Bleiben fern und fremd, sie gleichen
Uns Vergänglichen nicht erreichen
Nicht das Innerste der Seelen.

Nein, es scheint das innigst Schöne,
Liebenswerte dem Verderben
Zugeneigt, stets nah am Sterben,
Und das Köstlichste: die Töne
Der Musik, die im Entstehen
Schon enteilen, schon vergehen,
Sind nur Wehen, Ströme, Jagen
Und umweht von leiser Trauer,
Denn auch nicht auf Herzschlags Dauer
Lassen sie sich halten, bannen;
Ton um Ton, kaum angeschlagen,
Schwindet schon und rinnt von dannen.

So ist unser Herz dem Flüchtigen,
Ist dem Fließenden, dem Leben
Treu und brüderlich ergeben,
Nicht dem Festen, Dauertüchtigen.

Bald ermüdet uns das Bleibende,
Fels und Sternwelt und Juwelen,
Uns in ewigem Wandel treibende
Wind- und Seifenblasenseelen,
Zeitvermählte, Dauerlose,
Denen Tau am Blatt der Rose,
Denen eines Vogels Werben,
Eines Wolkenspieles Sterben,
Schneegeflimmer, Regenbogen,
Falter, schon hinweg geflogen,
Denen eines Lachens Läuten,
Das uns im Vorübergehen
Kaum gestreift, ein Fest bedeuten
Oder wehtun kann: Wir lieben,
Was uns gleich ist, und verstehen,
Was der Wind in den Sand geschrieben!

Hermann Hesse

...not actually..but I left the house with that song today..totally frightend once again. Went all right expect from my not available respect for the italian language ;) (Ho mescolato presente, passato remoto, prossimo e tutt'altro così per caso..)
Anyway...that's it. Wow...that's it. I'm free of the books. Feels pretty strange. I kinda feel like going to Carneval tonight...kinda. Dunno if it's the same as in Uri down here...anyway..Isa can decide in the end. Nice having her around tonight..and tomorrow we'll have a nice picnic at the lake...yeaaaaah! I'm looking forward to the upcoming 2 weeks...they're gonna be just great I hope.

...in Chicago, wo mich keiner kennt...ich komm nie mehr ich bin in Chicago..in Chicago..dort wo niemand, niemand meinen Namen nennt... (Mit ihrem sonnigen Traum vor Augen..läuft sie durch den Regen!)

So....I'm happy that I'm called Aschwanden today... a stupid, in most languages unpronouncable name (which even annoyes me pronouncing it in german rather than swiss german)...but everything has it good sides to it..
I was the first one to do the oral informatic exam today...yeah yeah...(do I have to say that I hate internet explorer? ;) )and then back home and somehow I ended up sleeping ;) While others waited for about 4 hours to finally get to do it...
Today we've studied" storia e teoria della comunicazione" --> the last and most interesting exam...tomorrow english...doing it with Tina so that's fine.
Nice moments today....

• the moment after the commemoration of my ability to walk into street-light-pales while just walking along
• sitting in Ursinas room without her being there and without a clue where she could be...I could become a private eye though ;)
• 29 of January...first shorts -day ..yeah!!! Summer can come...on Friday...fuck why's life so much brighter when the sun shines? (rhetorical question)

Found that poem today...kinda struck me don't know how... give it a read and learn some more vocab as always with them classic poems :)

If by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!


proofreading should be done in the stuff I write here ;) But well...